Beret

OK GUYS, LISTEN UP.

I’M SERIOUS, IF YOU DON’T GO TO BED NOW SANTA WON’T COME.

HE CAN ONLY VISIT IF YOU’RE ASLEEP; NOW GIT!

Barbra Walters interviews Sean Connery on smackin’ bitches

Hey guys! It’s now chauvinism week.

Fontfaggotry update.

I have found that the shirt mentioned here actually uses helvetica.

My memory of the traits inherent in the capital R’s of helvetica & arial was reversed. I knew the leg of R was noticeably different in arial; and I incorrectly assumed that it was curved like the arial Q.

I am sorry to have disappointed you tumblr.
You may rescind your likes if you wish.

Thursday's Shop & Stroll at Nob Hill

It was cold; the middle schoolers were snogging to keep warm.

That is all.

What Tumblr hath wrought.

I just noticed one of my shirts uses Arial instead of Helvetica.

Now I can’t wear it in public.

Baked brie with fruit jam. (Discuss its punch to sound credible)

Pretend foodie: what's that?
me: baked brie with fruit
Pretend foodie: hmm..
y'know, I like the idea of fruit spread, and I like the idea of baked brie.
But together, it sort of loses the punch of the brie.
me: yeah...
Note to posers: Brie has no punch. Quality brie is so rich it's practically butter.
It's delicious.

Girl Repellent, or, A Poem About Computers

My friends PC has a virus
With which he generously supplied us
Yet I remain calm
and let out a yawn
I use the OS made by Linus

Yesterday I went to see the twinkle-light parade.

A democratic candidate for probate judge, bearing the surname of Parks, tossed out candy cigarettes. (helpfully wrapped in a campaign sticker)

I have learned that pocky is served at fancy restaurants to cleanse your palate after a meal.

Yesterday I listened to Where The Wild Things Are on vinyl from '85.

I hope some hipsters explode with synthetic nostalgia.

An aspiring social media marketer.

friend: do you have a large connection of internet people, by any chance?
me: um, what do you mean by internet people?
friend: people you know online who dont mind the occasial quick spam message =)
friend: and by spam, i mean please help me win a contest by upvoting
me: not those kind of people, sorry

This image presented without comment.

“Another name commonly used for this garment is the “bro”. This appears to be a play on words that draws on its roots in romance languages, where the suffix “a” refers to a feminine object and “o” to a male object. It’s also possible that the nickname “bro” came from the word used to refer to other males in camaraderie (or in reference to one’s brother).”

Male bra - Wikipedia

Progression of Halloween costume ideas

For Halloween I don’t want to be a generic pirate or ghoul, I want to be a bit more meaningful.

I considered being a societal villain. Maybe a CEO with an actual parachute painted gold. But alas, my favorite parachute supplier didn’t have any.

A biking freak in the requisite spandex? A hipster or other pretentious person? Nah, both took too much work; and I really didn’t feel like shaving my legs.

Then my thoughts became obtuse; a dull suit or entirely blank white wardrobe symbolizing America’s lack of creativity. (a crude reflection of how uncreative I was feeling then)

The horrors continued as thoughts of an experimental or concept costume were entertained. Would I create a powerful costume while using only X elements of disguise?

No.

All my lofty ideas were either awful or unattainable. So I regressed.

I might be Cyrano de Bergerac with a 2 foot piece of ornamental grass as a feather; or a wizard whose staff carries a microwaved Beatles CD I found in the street this week.

Or I could just be a ghost; ironically.